I first crossed paths with Mark Manson in the blogging world. We had mutual friends and I knew he was a talented writer with a knack for stirring up a bit of controversy. When he and his wife moved to New York City, we finally got to meet in person. We hit it off right away, bonding over our shared interests in writing, entrepreneurship, poker, and whiskey. I even wrote a blurb for his book, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck", which is an excellent read about focusing on what truly matters in life.
Mark’s book was a hit, catching the attention of celebrities like Chelsea Handler and Chris Hemsworth. In this post, he shares how his travels shaped him into the person he is today and laid the groundwork for his book.
I’ve had my fair share of memorable travel experiences. I’ve thrown up in six different countries, changed a flat tire in India to the astonishment of the locals, argued with a drunk Englishman in a hostel who believed 9/11 was a hoax, and got drunk with an old Ukrainian man who claimed he was stationed in a Soviet U-Boat off the coast of Mississippi in the 1970s. I’ve climbed the Great Wall of China with a hangover, got scammed on a boat trip in Bali, snuck into a five-star resort on the Dead Sea, and met my wife in a Brazilian nightclub.
In 2009, I sold all my possessions and set off to travel the world with a small suitcase, a blog, and a dream. What was supposed to be a one or two-year trip turned into a seven-year journey across sixty countries.
Travel is unique in that it often gives you unexpected benefits. It doesn’t just teach you what you don’t know, it also teaches you what you don’t know you don’t know. I gained a lot of amazing experiences from my travels. I saw incredible sites, learned about world history and foreign cultures, and had more fun than I ever thought possible.
But the most significant effects of my travels were the benefits I didn’t even know I would get and the memories I didn’t know I would have. For instance, I don’t know when I became comfortable being alone, but it happened somewhere in Europe. I used to feel like something was wrong with me if I was alone for too long. But by the time I returned to Boston in 2010, that feeling had disappeared.
I also developed a sense of patience somewhere in Latin America. I used to get angry if a bus was late or if I missed a turn on the highway. But one day, it just stopped bothering me. I realized that my emotional energy was limited and I was better off saving it for moments that mattered.
I learned how to express my feelings during my travels. Before, I was a closed book, afraid to offend people or create uncomfortable situations. But now, I’m so blunt and open that it can be jarring. I also became more accepting of people from different walks of life, started appreciating my parents more, and learned how to communicate with someone despite not speaking the same language.
All these changes happened somewhere in the world, with someone. I don’t have any photos of these moments, but I know they’re there. Somewhere along the way, I became a better version of myself.
Last year, I wrote a book called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life". The premise of the book is that we all have a limited number of fcks to give in our lives, so we should be conscious of what we’re choosing to care about. Looking back, I think it was my experience traveling that taught me to not give a f*ck about being alone, the bus being late, other people’s plans, or creating an uncomfortable situation or two.
I have all the usual photos from my travels. Me on the beaches, at Carnaval, surfing in Bali with my buddy Brad, at Machu Picchu. I cared about those moments. The photos are great, the memories are great. But like anything in life, their importance fades the further removed you get from them.
Travel is a great thing, but it’s just a thing. It’s not you. It’s something you do, something you experience, something you brag about to your friends. But it’s not you. The real gifts that travel gives you are the personal growth, the comfort with yourself and your failings, the greater appreciation for family and friends, the ability to rely upon yourself. These are the things that stay with you forever. These are your real lasting memories because these things are you. And they will always be you.
Mark Manson is a blogger, entrepreneur, and author of the New York Times Bestseller "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life". His book is one of the best books I read in 2016 and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s well written, funny, self-deprecating, and even works in a panda bear! You can read more of his work at MarkManson.net. You can also check out his more recent 2019 interview about his newest book, "Everything is Fcked: A Book About Hope".
